8 Myths about Female Masturbation to dispel now

Female Masturbation

Confusing information is often censored. Yet female masturbation is useful for women and couples. Let’s dispel the false myths, right away.

Although young women are increasingly confident in showing themselves shamelessly, accepting their body and nature – including defects – and entering into relationships determined not to submit and not to give up their essence, the topic of female masturbation is still a great taboo. There is information, but little to say, confused. Little is said about it, it is difficult to admit. Yet auto-eroticism is a great gift that a woman can give to herself and to her partner as well. Because? We asked Elisa Caltabiano, a Sex & Sensuality coach from Milan to dispel the false myths about female masturbation.

False myths? Less than for men

Male masturbation was said to lead to blindness, hairy hands, baldness, acne, tooth loss, and even cancer in boys. For female masturbation, however, there are not all these rumors: why? “It is an interesting question – says the Sex coach with a smile – which awakens my combative side linked to the recognition and respect of the sacred feminine. I think we talk about it very little and much less because it is a crazy taboo and it always has been. It is well established that the man somehow does it, masturbates, touches himself, and can induce pleasure by himself. They tried with all those rumors to make him do a little less, as always through the politics of fear, but without ever hiding male masturbation as a fact. For the woman, on the other hand, it really repressed the option that can produce pleasure independently. There is enormous power, on the other hand, within the possibility that the woman knows herself and takes her pleasure in hand, that she really knows how to enjoy herself. Self-restraint, considering the presence of man as a plus and not indispensable, is a statement that has never been accepted in a phallocentric society. And it was buried. In addition to this, there is the aspect linked to sin, shame, the taboo that continues to envelop sexuality “.

1. It’s not a big thing

From what age is it right or possible to masturbate? “From birth” is Caltabiano’s decisive response. “It is said that even in the mother’s womb babies touch and explore each other. One realizes already at a very young age that there is a very sensitive and pleasant area down there. As we grow up obviously this curiosity towards the sensation of pleasure increases and around the age of 2-3 it is not uncommon to see boys and girls with their hands in their panties. Parents, out of modesty and education, often block these attitudes, making a mistake because the concept of dirt begins to be born from this NO., of taboo and shame “. But the clitoris, in the case of girls, is continuously stimulated, albeit involuntarily: just tight jeans, a bike seat, and the recognition of a stimulus are loud and clear. Leaving the girls free to perceive those sensations is essential for the knowledge and awareness of their bodies. “Knowing and experiencing that pleasure makes them stronger when it’s time to look for it”.

2. Meanwhile, the clitoris

According to the Accademia della Crusca “Clitoris derives from the Greek clitoris and in Italian it is recorded starting from the IV edition of the Vocabulario Della Crusca (1729-1730), which speaks of it in the feminine. From the nineteenth century dictionaries also begin to record the masculine form, which in common use has almost always been dominant “. A little to resume the original genre of the word, a little to enhance and put at the center an organ so important for the body and the pleasure of women in decidedly phallocentric sexuality, many groups of feminists, health professionals, and promoters of the well-being of women have begun to use the feminine: the clitoris. Today is used on a symbolic level, it is undoubtedly the feminine that takes over, even with a certain pride.

3. Do we really know the clitoris?

The clitoris today has become the protagonist of various feminist artistic forms, which have created installations, paintings, and sculptures around half the world. It happened in Paris a few months ago, when on March 8 at the Trocadero, in front of the Eiffel Tower, an inflatable clitoris more than 5 meters high appeared. “We publicly denounce the delay in the research of sexual medicine on the clitoris. There is clearly the unequal treatment of the penis. A quarter of the girls do not know they have a clitoris and 82% do not even know that it is an erectile and erogenous organ, ”said Julia Petri, the founder of the group“ La Gang du Clito ”, who wanted the installation.

4. Clitoris, not just a button

In the common imagination, the clitoris has the shape of a button, more or less the size of a raisin. It is located high up, protected, at the junction of the two labia minora. “That little button is just the tip of the iceberg. It is the external part of a much more extended musculature, which develops towards the inside of the pelvis, downwards, on each side of the vulva ”. Its shape is an upside-down Y, and the visible part, the raisins to intenders, is called the glans or head of the clitoris. Few people know this but the clitoris is made of the same erectile tissue as the penis and becomes turgid when stimulated. “The clitoris contains 8,000 nerve endings, 5 thousand only in the head ”, Elisa Caltabiano specifies,“ who are there for the pleasure and enjoyment of women. The glans of the penis has 3 thousand, just to make a comparison “. Given the nature of this organ, so much larger than one can imagine, the pleasure of stimulating the clitoris is a widespread, very intense, and extended pleasure.

5. Not just penetration

Many think that female masturbation is mainly penetrative, with fingers or toys, and internal stimulation. “This is one of the mistakes that is mostly made by women, and then also by men in sexual intercourse. And it is not excluded – continues the coach, who proposes various thematic paths dedicated to women for greater knowledge and awareness – that some of the problems of women related to penetration come precisely from petting and penetration that is too strong “. But there is no precise recipe for achieving pleasure and enjoyment.

“Female masturbation is fundamentally linked to being connected with one’s body and one’s pleasure, be it internal, or external, in deep connection with one’s anatomy. The real problem is that we know very little about our body and erogenous zones that cause us pleasure “.

The erogenous zones, on the other hand, are different from woman to woman. For some, it may be the vagina, for others, however, the neck, the breast, and for others, the feet. “Orgasm is not only vaginal but there are many types. There are orgasms that can also be achieved by stimulating other points in the body, such as a head massage “.

6. Orgasm, Must have

In a constantly performing existence, sexuality also loses its ultimate goal, which is a pleasure and not the achievement of orgasm. “There is a tendency to make the sexual experience very linked to sexual performance and to reach a goal. There is too much attention to orgasm, when the perception of pleasure is not necessarily linked to that, on the contrary, sometimes we focus on the destination completely missing the beauty of the journey. I often advise women to put on a 20-30 minute timer. The only goal of that time is to feel your own body and bodily sensations, leaving orgasm aside. This practice makes the whole process of experimentation and exchange much more aware, eliminates orgasm anxiety, and undoubtedly makes the whole process of experimentation and exchange more enjoyable ”.

7. A matter of habit

Habit and sexuality are not friendly words. Too often the problems and boredom that take place in the intimacy of the couple derive precisely from a little imagination. But the monotony is also counterproductive in masturbation. “I always recommend alternating the methods of stimulation. If you use a vibrator, it is better to alternate it with the fingers, the dildo, because the vibrator often causes vibration and a different pleasure from what a penis or hand can generate “. It is important to learn to please yourself in many different ways, varying, without risking enjoying only and exclusively in a certain situation.

8. It is not a weakness

Masturbating does not hurt and is not a sign of loneliness or weakness, quite the contrary. “This is the other thing they want us to believe. Many women come to me anticipating themselves with a shy: “eh, you know, I’m alone “. It comes to me to console them and to say: better! Sometimes being inside a sentimental and sexual relationship limits exploration and discovery, because it can be difficult to find a common language, of bodies that speak, or get out of habits, or simply put yourself at the center ”. Self-eroticism, on the other hand, is a gift that a woman gives to herself and also to her / her partner. “It is essential that the approach is that of awareness and knowledge, that masturbation is the tool to be master of oneself, in full self-centering. We can no longer allow it, and we do too often, whether others say what we like or don’t. So it is not weakness, but security and strength, of a woman who knows herself, who loves herself and who does not delegate her sexual happiness ”.

The 3 tips – Female Masturbation

Get to know it: both from the anatomical point of view, perhaps looking at yourself with a mirror, and from the point of view of pleasure.

Love It: Too many women still think their vagina is bad or wrong.

Explore and feel: the pursuit of enjoyment is completely natural and it is important to stimulate self-knowledge. Women should be explored before the age of first intercourse, before sharing and exchanging with others.

They must arrive at those meetings having already discovered and with a little awareness of the body and of their own pleasure.

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