Feeling unwilling to have sex with your partner too lazy to have sex is not uncommon in married life. In fact, it is quite common to happen to anyone, especially when you have children or a very hectic routine.
What many do not know is that this lack of mood in bed can hide health problems and often helps to draw attention to a hidden problem.
Sexual Haziness: what it is
Sexual laziness is the term (non-medical) used to express the lack of motivation that some people feel about sex.
To better understand it, sexologist, explains that sexual laziness can be compared to laziness felt by the practice of physical exercises.
“We all know that it is good for health, that after performing the exercise we feel good, but sometimes lack motivation,” says the expert.
The psychologist and sexologist Says, Excessive activities of daily life in the contemporary world as one of the causes that most influence the development of sexual laziness, since much energy is used in everyday practices and sex is no longer used.
“This is one of the major factors in the contemporary world: people are not prioritizing sex life,”
According to the sexologist, Is that the contemporary routine often requires the individual to divert his energy to activities such as work, home care, financial planning, going out with friends, family and everything. which involves spending energy on daily activities beyond sex.
Consequently, the person feels fatigued physically and even emotionally and becomes unmotivated for the sex life.
Sexual laziness can be a health problem?
It is worth noting, however, that tiredness is not always responsible for the lack of sexual desire. It is important to identify when other factors are at play, such as a health condition.
In this case, we are talking about falling libido , which, despite having physiological, emotional, psychological and even cultural causes, is often perceived as simple laziness or lack of motivation – and one must know how to differentiate.
The lack of sexual desire , or lack of libido, may reflect changes in the body and serve as a warning to a doctor. Some problems related to physical or mental health that can lead to the condition are:
- Hormonal disorders
- Low Testosterone and Estrogen
- Medication use
To identify when the condition manifests due to health problems, it is important to look at other symptoms that may be associated, as well as behavioral changes.
The hypothyroidism , for example, is a disease caused by a thyroid gland dysfunction, which stops producing enough hormones to regulate all body functions. Consequently, the person has changes in metabolism, blood pressure, heartbeat and mood, in addition to having a compromised sexual desire. Thus, being aware of other associated symptoms is important.
According to Sexologist, research on low libido relates it to hormonal drops, especially testosterone and oxytocin, which play a key role in sexual intercourse.
“In women, there is also estrogen that, unregulated, can affect the desire,” They explains. “One of the key issues with these hormones is depressive symptoms. We have depressive conditions where people really are unmotivated by everything, and that includes sex,” they says.
When consulting a doctor, try to understand what changes you have noticed in your body and daily routine in addition to the reduction in sexual frequency. Physical causes will be the first to be investigated by examination.
Cultural and emotional factors should also be considered.
In addition to everyday and health factors, cultural factors also corroborate a decrease in sexual frequency, and, as occurs in health, can be perceived as lack of motivation.
Having a very repressed sex education, as traditionally with many women, ends up affecting the way sex is prioritized in life.
Culturally, the woman was raised not to see sex as a pleasure to herself or a health issue, but only as a mere reproductive issue and an obligation to keep her partner satisfied.
“If there is a sex education or, in fact, if it did not exist or was very repressed, other activities take over one’s life. In the case of women, if she does not see sex as necessary or as a matter For health reasons, she may see it as an obligation, only for reproduction: she will only look for her partner or give vent to her wishes during the period she wants to become pregnant. There are still these cultural remains that sex is only for procreation. This thinking has been changing a lot, but we still find it. ”
Traumas, self-recovery, low self-esteem and partner dissatisfaction also add up to this account. To try to understand how much weight these questions have about lack of contentment in sex, it is interesting to ask yourself a few questions:
- Am I having less sex than before? If so, when did this happen and why?
- Would I like to have more sex or just think this is necessary to please my partner, or to fit in with what I consider normal?
- I feel pleasure in sex? It’s painful?
- Do I want to masturbate? What about having sex with people other than my partner?
- After sex, do I feel I have done something wrong, or am I dirty?
- Am I ashamed to have sex with my partner? Why?
Sexual laziness hits everyone
Sexual laziness has the potential to reach everyone: single, committed, men, women, youth, adults and the elderly.
According to sexologist, women are diagnosed culturally, and research on the subject indicates that they may have less “courage” for sex than men. But that doesn’t mean only women feel it and men don’t.
“I have been receiving a lot of male patients with Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (SHDS) , which is the drop in libido. It is necessary a much more accurate diagnosis and not only to put the difference between genders, besides reinforcing the subjectivity of each person. Men are also saying that they are not in desire, are lazy, have a headache and have priorities other than sex, “says
Advice to improve sex life
If you notice that a lack of sexual initiative is present in your life, open dialogue with your partner is important to the relationship.
In addition to the importance of letting off steam and trying to understand each other, in sexologist’s opinion, conversation is fundamental to rid the partner of a possible sense of anguish and guilt for the lack of sexual desire of the other. “The first thing the listener will think is that they are not being enough,” says
In addition to dialogues, professional help, such as consultations with gynecologist or urologist, endocrinologist, therapist, and sexologist, can help point out the possible causes of the issue – whether for couples or singles.
sexologist recommends even more lifestyle care with healthy diet, physical activity, stress reduction, adequate sleep and healthy relationships. “They can always help.”
Finally, sexologist stresses that sex education is fundamental for better understanding of sex as an important activity for the well-being of each.
“The lack of sex education comes from a family that, for ‘n’ reasons, cannot work on this issue and goes to schools, which cannot, due to technical and instrumental limitations, address the issue, and even politics, as we have seen. There needs to be change from a very early age in people’s lives so that when they start their sexual practice, that is calmer and paradigm-breaking has happened. ”